Thursday, June 29, 2017

Where Have all the Adverbs Gone?

Signs bother me. Well, okay, it's not really the signs that bother me, but the words on the signs. I passed two today on the highway that stuck in me like a splinter.

"Drive Safe," the sign read. Now, I'm not certain what kind of safe that is, unless it's a particular kind of roadside service for commuters where they can lock up their valuables. Yeah, that's it. A drive safe. Interesting new business.

What the hell happened to adverbs? Has it become cheaper to drop the '-ly' and turn nouns into adverbs? Is there a shortage on certain letters?

But perhaps I'm a Luddite at times. Maybe I need to loosen up my hold on the language and not go all Thurber. Whom I happen to love. And, yes, I did just 'verbify' Mr. Thurber. I know that a language needs to grow and change to remain alive. Else, you end up with Latin. Which really isn't a dead language. It's more of a living dead language, as it still comes in handy in crossword puzzles. Latin even gave us the dance called the salsa. Salsa's also good with chips. But I regress.

Perhaps I need to relax and embrace the new words and phrases. I'm just a little confused about certain ones, though. For example, I saw another sign that read, "Homegrown Student Checking." What does that even mean? Who's checking these homegrown students? I wish someone would explain it to me.

Ah, well, I'm going to try and ease up. So, for my next post, I'll get into this whole verbify business.

"Every morning, Poseidon would awaken at the Kraken of dawn."
               -- Anonymous

Keep writing, friends.

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