Happened on this little newsworthy headline today:
Man uses plastic bat to defend son from goose, gets ticket.
This bit of news is so much fun, I hardly know where to begin. But I will.
First off, those department store plastic bats like they used in the old "B" vampire flicks are sort of floppy. I'd think one of those wouldn't be too effective. I believe I'd try a live bat. But they're kind of bitey, so that wouldn't be too good, either. Of course, maybe they mean a plastic baseball bat? Not sure.
Also, who goosed the man's son? And why? What happened to provoke the gooser? Did the goosee goose the gooser to set off the whole incident. It's really not clear, is it? Or are they referring to the bird variety of goose?
What kind of ticket did the man get? Concert ticket? Baseball ticket?
But wait. There's more....
The man stated that the goose "...chased his son...", and that the goose was "clearly attacking" the boy. Not just attacking, but "clearly attacking". Obviously, plainly, and evidently attacking. So, what we have here is a goose expert.
Ah, yes, but anyway....Always remember, folks. Be precise in your writing. That way, when you've been goosed, you'll know what kind of bat to use so you'll receive the appropriate ticket.
Keep writing, friends.