Saturday, October 1, 2016

The Only Supernatural Travel Guide You'll Ever Need

We'll return to Wendy and Tom's adventures through space and time shortly. First, though, as it's October and the portal to the creepy-crawlies opens wider now, figured I should also give folks an A to Z travel guide on a few places you may encounter. Grab your talismans!

Abaton: Doubtful you'll find this place in Frommer's or a AAA tour book. Word from travelers such as Sir Thomas Bulfinch have it that it was sighted once in Scotland, but it disappeared again. It's location constantly shifts, like trying to find a decent motel after dark. Good luck hunting for it, but don't worry if you can't. No one else can, either.

Basilisk Country: Basilisks live here, naturally, in this desert region of southern Africa. The area wasn't always a desert. But once the basilisks, fierce serpentine creatures, inhabited the region, their stare alone turned the land into bleak desert. If you have to travel through the region, take a weasel or a rooster with you--they have been known to protect travelers.

Caseosa: Also known as Milk Island, in the Atlantic Ocean, so named as it is milky-white, looking like aged cheese. No one lives there, but you can see the temple to the nymph Galatea there. Grapes grow there, but they don't produce wine, only milk.

Dicitionopolis: Also called the City of Words, rests in the foothills of Confusion. This is where all the world's words are grown. Visitors can purchase words there, or buy letters a la carte.

Ear Islands: Located just off Germany's coast, a tribe of marvelous fishermen live there, the Auriti, or All-Ears, named for their enormous ears. That's why they are such great fishermen--their ears are so large they can hear the fish beneath the sea.

Federal Hill: A region of Providence, Rhode Island, this ancient area supposedly houses a curious stone called the Shining Trapezohedron. Careful about venturing there--dark forces lurk in quiet corners. The Old Ones await.

Geometers' Island: Near Tierra del Fuego, the inhabitants built nothing but square cities there and now spend the rest of their days scratching geometric figures in the sand.

Hyperborea: Somewhere north of Scotland is Hyperborea, a place that knows no sorrow, fishing is great, and butterflies abound. Sounds like a great vacation spot.

Iron Hills: In the north of Middle-Earth, home to the dwarves that battled the Orcs. Residents here are generally secured from marauding dragons.

Justice, Palace of: A bereaucratic nightmare of an impossibly huge building, people are brought in to answer for some mysterious infractions, led through a maze of corridors, and, much like this sentence, keep getting mired deeper and deeper within.

Klopstokia: In 1932 the country of Klopstokia won the Olympic Games--all of them--as everyone who lives in this land is an incredible athlete. Young and old excel at any Olympic game. They are so good, in fact, that it was asked they no longer compete.

Lerna: Near Umsk, Switzerland, Lerna University is the site of unusual experiments on people, all related to the deep mysteries of the Universe. Not much else is known.

Merlin's Tomb: Deep within a cave in Cornwall, England, lies (or stands?) the great sorcerer of Arthurian legend. He was sealed in there ages ago, the result of an unbreakable spell.

Never-Never Land: Yet one more island of unknown location. Home of Peter Pan and the Lost Boys. Children occasionally catch glimpses of Never-Never Land as they are on the verge of sleep.

Otranto, Castle of: This enormous fortification in Puglia, Italy, is home to peculiar supernatural phenomena--giants will mysteriously appear and disappear, and a gigantic will materialize at times. Escape is possible through a secret passage that leads to the church of St. Nicholas.

Pauk: Don't go here if you're afraid of spiders, as a human-sized spider lives here. Unknown if it's dangerous to people, but it's probably not best to test it.

Quivera: Bordering on the Republic of Indepencia, this South American country is known for its trade in rubies. Rubies are nice, but you have to negotiate blind seamonsters that dwell in hideous caves in order to get to the rubies. So, you decide.

Regentrude Realm: This is an underground land, somewhere in northern Germany. A very tired lady lives here, the Regentrude, who is in charge of making rain fall.

Skull Island: Located in the Indian Ocean, just southwest of Sumatra, this is the home of none other than King Kong. It is sometimes called King Kong Island.

Thekla: An incomplete city in Asia, the people who live here say the will never finish building their city, for if they do, they fear it will begin to deconstruct. I think I've seen some current-day construction project like that.

Universal Tap Room: Within a mountain in Great Britain is this fantastic place. Lining one wall are huge taps, but not for beverages. These taps are used to turn on the weather--one for sunshine, one for nice growing weather, etc. The wall opposite is a viewing area to observe the effects.

Vagon: This is the castle near Camelot where the 150 Round Table knights spent their last night prior to questing for the Holy Grail.

Wandering Rocks: These 'rockbergs' float around the Mediterranean, crushing unwary ships. Jason and the crew of the Argo successfully navigated through them in the quest for the Golden Fleece.

Xujan Kingdom: A city in Africa protected by an immense wall. Dwelling here are a group of people who worshipped parrots. The inhabitants are now insane.

Yspaddaden Penkawr: This is a castle in Wales that lies in a vast plain. The castle recedes further and further from anyone attempting to reach it.

Zuy: An Elfin kingdom in the Netherlands. The elves here are particularly prosperous, which does not place them in high regard among other Elfin kingdoms. They export musical boxes, religious pictures, and starch.

Hope this guide will help you on some of your mysterious and magical journeys.

Keep writing, friends.


  1. Plains Indians believed that there was a wandering hill, that if they saw it misfortune was approaching. Sounds to me like it was a handy way to leave a situation you didn't like.

    1. Yep. Okay, folks, hill's a-comin'. Pack your teepees, we're buggin' out.


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