Monday, November 9, 2015

It's the (Expletive Deleted) SpellCheck, Baby!

Okay, gang, got a new one for you. Regular readers of my posts know that I have some issues with SpellCheck (or spell-check, etc.), and have turned it off at least on my silly-phone. Well, both Wendy and I might be kicking the Word Police out the door soon.

A few minutes ago she said, "Tom, you've got to come in here and see this."

So, I went in her studio and she said, "Take a look at my laptop."

I did, and what to my curious eyes should appear was not reindeer or Santa, but highlighted in a bold, blue font was the word, uh...motherf****r right there on the screen.

"Honey," I said, "are you trying to push the censorship envelope a bit?"

"Nope," she said, and, smiling, she erased it, then started typing the word 'mother', when, like some sort of foul-mouthed computer gremlin, the remaining six letters magically appeared.

"Uhhh...what?" I stammered.

"Yep," she said, "I was typing in the phrase "...mother's recent death..." when the spell-check or intellisense or whatever malevolent mind lurks behind the screen hijacked my words and came back with one of George Carlin's Big Seven. What do you think about that?"

"I never thought I'd see something like this," I said.

"Neither did I," she said. "And check this out. Anytime I type the word 'mother', the vulgar genii completes the rest." She then proceeded to demonstrate.

"Uhhh..." I said.

"Yep," she said.

"I have to write a post about this. But no one will believe it," I said.

And that's where I am now, writing this post. I feel like a storyteller in a Poe short story, relating something few will accept. But my tale is true, dear friends.

With that, I leave you with this warning, "Keep looking up..."

Keep writing, friends.

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